You Don’t Know My Name

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I was feeling a little nostalgic the other day so I started listening to music and watching some of my favorite videos from a few years ago.  Alicia Keys “You Don’t Know My Name” was one of the videos that came across my playlist. Now that I’m older I can appreciate the story-line in the video more than when I watched it for the first time. I can also appreciate how fine Mos Def was! LOL Not sure why I didn’t notice it back then, maybe my taste in men has changed.

I know I’m not the only girl that could quote verbatim the words of Alicia Key’s telephone conversation when she finally decided to let her crush (Mos Def) know she had been peeping him for a while and was ready to let him know she was interested.

“ Hello….. can I speak to…to Michael?”

“Oh hey how you doing?”

“I feel kinda silly doing this but uh… this is the waitress from the coffee house on 39th and Lenox…you know the one with the braids?”


“Well I see you on Wednesdays all the time. You come in every Wednesday on your lunch break I think…and you always order the special with the hot chocolate.”

“My manager be tripping and stuff talking about we gotta use water.. but I always use some milk and cream for you because I think you’re kinda sweet…”


While I was reminiscing watching the video it made me think about how almost extinct phone conversations have become. I can barely remember what it feels like to get excited when someone you’re feeling hits you up and ya’ll talk for hours. We are definitely living in the social media era so instead of communicating verbally most of us communicate through texting, Facebook, Instagram, twitter, Snapchat and the list goes on.

I remember a couple of years ago how I would always talk on the phone; now the majority of my conversations are through text, group me, or some other social media app. When someone does call me to talk it feels almost weird and sometimes I hit the decline button because I would rather text than to talk because it’s more convenient.

I think I realized the disconnect when one of my good guy friends called me out of the blue not too long ago and we talked for hours! I forgot how good it felt to have an actual conversation and really check in with someone to see how life is treating them. It definitely made me realize I have to do better with keeping in touch verbally. You can put off talking to someone for so long that one day you look up and realize years have passed by.

I think social media is amazing in a sense that we’re able to communicate and interact with so many different people simultaneously and because of its convenience. At the same time I personally feel that it has hurt communication because it has created an illusion that we’re building connections with people when in reality we’re very detached and distant.

I’ve met people before who were totally different on social media than they were in person. Some were extremely outgoing online but in person the total opposite.  I think social media gives some individuals a platform to become people they’re not or a way to live out their alter egos and fantasies.

A lot of times you find out that you really don’t know the person well at all. I meet a lot of guys who consider “text conversations” actual conversations. Texting and social media are cool but to me it’s so informal. It’s hard to really establish something authentic if that’s pretty much the only way you’re communicating.

I think it’s crazy that some people ask for my Instagram name before they ask for my actual name. Times have definitely changed but when it comes to dating relationships I still prefer those REAL conversations. I’m working on making a better effort to communicate more verbally with family and friends too. We’re all busy and social media makes it very convenient to stay in touch but I don’t want to lose that authentic connection.

So what do you guys think, has social media hurt the way we communicate?

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