It’s Beauty In The Struggle

Photo Credit: Free E-Consultation

Two years ago I wrote a blog post called “Pursuit of Happiness”  regarding my decision to quit my decent salary paying  job with benefits to set out on a journey to find my purpose in life.  I didn’t expect my journey to be easy but I also didn’t expect the struggle to be so real. Initially when I left my job I didn’t have a plan in place; I just left on a limb. Shortly after I found myself living in South Carolina with my older brother working at a call center barely making enough to pay my bills.

While living in South Carolina I managed to get a film internship and I also created a joint blog and business with my twin sister called “The Double Scoop”. I was happy that I was beginning to follow my true passions but at the same time I was also very depressed because I wasn’t happy with my financial situation or where I was in life.  Although I was enjoying my internship opportunity, it wasn’t paid and I was struggling financially. I was starting to see other people my age making progress in their careers and starting families and I felt like I was getting farther behind in where I was supposed to be in life.  To make matters worse over the course of a year I had been on over 15 job interviews but wasn’t selected for any of the positions. I was starting to feel completely broken and questioned if I made the wrong decision by quitting my job.   Although I wasn’t doing well financially my blog was starting to do great and I was beginning to make amazing connections with artists and filmmakers. At the time I couldn’t appreciate the opportunity that  was given to me because I was too busy comparing my success to where other people were in their life.  

After living with my brother for a year I ended up having to move back home with my parents in Mississippi. While at home I went on several more interviews and I still couldn’t get a job in my field. I was at my lowest point and I questioned if I was being punished by God for taking my career for granted. But then I thought why would I be punished for trying to pursue what I love and what makes me happy. I disappeared from social media for a while and I became more reclusive. I felt like my confidence was gone.

Four months ago I got a job offer in Charlotte, North Carolina at a small university similar to the school that I worked for two years ago. If I could describe the extreme feeling of appreciation that I had it would be the scene in the movie “Pursuit of Happiness” when Will Smith’s character was offered a job after completing his internship. It’s surreal how much things have changed over these last two years. I went from being broke, jobless, and living at home with my parents to now living in a new state with a new job, having a new place, and having my own media business.

Although I’m not at the point where I can live completely off of the income that I make from my business I am  proud of all the things that I have accomplished since starting it. I have been able to interview artist and filmmakers, attend entertainment events, help co-write a script, and host a music podcast. If I wouldn’t have left my job two years ago I probably would not have  accomplished any of these things.

Sometimes when we go through struggles in life it’s not necessarily that we’re getting punished but I believe God and the universe is shaping us into being better versions of ourselves.  My struggle has definitely changed me for the better. I’ve matured a lot, I’ve developed a stronger work ethic, and I have definitely been humbled. I realize how much your circumstances in life can change and how quickly you can lose everything that you’ve worked for. I don’t take anything for granted anymore and I try to live each day like it’s my last. My goal within the next 2-3 years is to be able to work for myself and I believe I’m well on the way to accomplishing just that.