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Author: Ashley E.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s a never ending conversation when it comes to a woman not being able to find a good man; more specifically a black woman trying to find a good black man. Based on the statistics that are constantly being forced down our throats, most black men are incarcerated, homosexual, not interested in black women, or just not worth dating. Not to mention the single fact alone that women outnumber men. From talking to several single black women it seems that when you wean out the men that don\u2019t fall into those above categories, most of the good ones are already taken and the ones remaining worth dating are slim to none.<\/p>\n
Tv shows like\u00a0Being Mary Jane<\/em>\u00a0display women so desperate to find a man that they settle for being side chicks and even going so far as to steal sperm to get pregnant.\u00a0Yasmin Eleby<\/a>, a woman from Houston, TX made headlines over a year ago when she decided to marry herself because she was still single at the age of 40. \u00a0The struggle seems to be real out here for the single women, but is it really a struggle or are good black men being overlooked daily due to women having unrealistic standards and expectations?\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to be bias so I got the opinions of a few black women and men to help me address this continuous topic.<\/p>\n The Male Perspective<\/strong><\/p>\n How do you feel about black women saying there is a shortage of quality black men?<\/p>\n \u201cI definitely understand the struggle of my sisters & their perspective of there being a shortage of quality black men. However, there are many black women who are quick to put a quality black man in the \u201cfriend\u2019s zone\u201d and pursue the one (or ones) who won\u2019t give them with the love, respect & loyalty they deserve. I\u2019ve been \u201cfriend zoned\u201d a couple of times<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 ~JI<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t like hearing that, but it\u2019s hard for me to take it personal (or even seriously) because I think if you ask 10 different women what a quality black man is, you\u2019ll get 10 different answers. I assume this is in relation to the disproportionate rate that black women graduate from college over their male counterparts, and to that respect I guess it\u2019s true. You can\u2019t really argue with the numbers. But I don\u2019t think you can dismiss a black man as \u201cnot quality\u201d or whatever if he didn\u2019t go to college, just like a degree doesn\u2019t automatically make you a good catch. You want to be real about it, sometimes all a degree means is a whole lot of debt for both our quality black asses. And that\u2019s not attractive to nobody.\u201d ~JD<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n The Female Perspective<\/strong><\/p>\n Do you feel that there is a shortage of quality black men?<\/p>\n \u201cSadly, yes there is a shortage of quality black men. Before I got married, yes I felt there was a shortage. Shortly before I met my husband, I had just accepted the fact that I was going to be single for a while. I even prepared myself mentally with the idea that I just might be single forever and never get married.\u201d ~AW<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t think there is a shortage and don\u2019t believe in that. I met several good marriage material guys but wasted time on relationships I knew weren\u2019t going anywhere but cut the good ones off over petty stuff. When I met my husband he was 28 working on his bachelors. He worked security at a club. My black friends were like don\u2019t date him you are better than that and my white friends were like girl please he\u2019s a great guy. Now he works as a financial analyst making more than some of my black friend\u2019s husbands.\u201d ~DG<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n It\u2019s difficult to answer the question is there a shortage of good black men because it depends on what the woman defines as \u201cgood\u201d or \u201cquality\u201d.\u00a0 It\u2019s possible that great black men are being overlooked every day because of unrealistic standards and expectations held by black women. \u00a0The phrase don\u2019t be a nickel looking for a dime goes a long way so ask yourself are you a reflection of what you\u2019re looking for? With all men regardless of race there are some decent ones and there are some horrible ones, but if you keep attracting the wrong ones you might need to do a self-evaluation. \u00a0I do feel that for some black women there is a loyalty to hold down the black man and because of that we have tunnel vision for ONLY black men which prevents us from being open to relationships with men of other races. Maybe one of the problems is that women don\u2019t put themselves out there enough to meet a good black man.\u00a0 A man is not going to come wrapped in a pretty bow waiting for us to unwrap him so taking a little initiative by just smiling or saying hello could make a huge difference. \u00a0From my personal experience I\u2019ve met some great black men and some terrible ones but I will never let the negative experiences make me put all black men in the same box. I am a product of being raised by a good black man. I love black men and I want them to win especially now more than ever with them having it so hard in society.<\/p>\n Photo Cred: ThyBlackMan.Com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Author: Ashley E. It\u2019s a never ending conversation when it comes to a woman not being able to find a good man; more specifically a black woman trying to find a good black man. Based on the statistics that are constantly being forced down our throats, most black men are incarcerated, homosexual, not interested in … Continue reading “Is There A Shortage Of Good Black Men?”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1606,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1603","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/thedoublescoop2.com\/dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1603","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/thedoublescoop2.com\/dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/thedoublescoop2.com\/dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thedoublescoop2.com\/dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thedoublescoop2.com\/dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1603"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/thedoublescoop2.com\/dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1603\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thedoublescoop2.com\/dev\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/thedoublescoop2.com\/dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1603"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thedoublescoop2.com\/dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1603"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thedoublescoop2.com\/dev\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1603"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}