The Double Scoop

LEMONADE REVIEW

Photo Credit: Billboard

Author: Amy Nicole

I’m not shy to admit that I’m no die-hard Beyonce fan. I think she’s talented and I like some of her music, but I’m far from a being a member of the Beyhive. Beyonce recently released her visual album Lemonade and of course just like with every project she releases she pretty much broke the internet! Since I finally got some free time over the weekend I decided to see what all the hype was about.

I listened to the audio album before watching the visual so that I could really grasp the lyrics in the songs. After the first time listening to the album I thought it was decent but nothing extraordinary. After I watched the visual album I will say I appreciated the album a lot more and some of the songs that I initially didn’t care for I ended up enjoying them better the second time around. The album is delivered as a unique short film. My top five songs included: Pray You Catch Me, Hold Up, Sorry, Love Drought, and the song which has finally grown on to me Formation.

“In Pray You Catch Me” Beyonce sings:

You can taste the dishonesty, It’s all over your breath as you pass it off so cavalier

Prayin’ to catch you whispering, I’m prayin’ you catch me listening

In “Hold Up” Beyonce still sings about a cheating spouse but does so with more of an angry tone. The song has calypso instrumentals and a poppy Caribbean feel to it. In the video Beyonce walks around the streets in a yellow dress and heels with a bat breaking windows and smashing cars. In the song she repeats the chorus lines:

Hold up, they don’t love you like I love you, Slow down, they don’t love you like I love you

In one line from the song she sings:

I smell your secret, and I’m not too perfect

To ever feel this worthless

How did it come down to this?

Photo Credit: Independent

The song “Sorry” which is probably my favorite song off the album will definitely be the independent woman song of the summer. In the song Beyonce lets her cheating partner know that she is done with the drama and isn’t going to apologize for it. In the video Serena Williams twerks and dances alongside Beyonce. Serena received some backlash for her role in the video but I think the point was to show her embracing her muscular physique which she is often criticized for. The video is fun and shows women enjoying life and having fun without stressing over a man. So many songs and videos portray women crying and depressed over a guy so it was nice to see women putting themselves first for a chance.

In the song Beyonce says:

Sorry, I ain’t sorry, Sorry, I ain’t sorry

Middle fingers up, put them hands high

Wave it in his face, tell him boy bye

At the end of the song Beyonce drops the infamous line:

He only want me when I’m not there, He better call Becky with the good hair

Most fans speculated that she was referring to Rita Ora or Damon Dash’s ex wife Rachel Roy who have both been rumored to have had affairs with Jay Z.

Photo Credit: WowOne

Love Drought” is another good one off the album. The song is about a spouse losing interest in the relationship.

“Ten times out of nine, I know you’re lying, But nine times outta ten, I know you’re trying

Tell me what I did wrong?

Feel like that question has been posed, I’m movin on

The majority of the songs on the album are about betrayal, heartbreak, and infidelity which is why many people speculated that Beyonce was airing her dirty laundry about her husband Jay Z. The album also includes songs like “6 inch” featuring The Weeknd which is about an independent successful woman. Another song “Freedom” which features Kendrick Lamar touches on institutional racism and encourages women empowerment. In the video the mothers of Mike Brown, Trayvon Martin, and Eric Garner make an emotional appearance holding the pictures of their slain sons. There is also the song “Daddy Lessons” which is a song that pays respect to Beyonce’s dad for helping her become the woman she is today.

Photo Credit: Fader

Overall the visual album helps sells the entire project. I give respect when respect is due and Beyonce is a marketing, artistic genius. The short film is broken into different sections which include: intuition, anger, apathy, emptiness, accountability, reformation, forgiveness, resurrection, hope, and redemption. Beyonce recites poetry in between each section and also adds personal clips of her family and documentary footage. The visual album is beautiful and definitely pays respect to the black woman. It also encourages sisterhood and highlights the diversity of beauty among women of color. Throughout the entire visual there are women dressed in antebellum attire and women uplifting and encouraging each other. The album includes many celebrity appearances including Serena Williams, Zendaya Coleman, Quvenzhan’e Wallis, Amandla Stenberg, and Winnie Harlow.

Photo Credit: Bone Magazine

Photo Credit: Vogue

Photo Credit: Bone Magazine

The last song on the visual album is “Formation”. Initially I did not like the song but just like with the entire album the visual makes you appreciate the song more. In the video Beyonce addresses the Black Lives Matter Movement by sitting on top of a sinking police car which signifies the loss of respect for authority that many people (specifically black people) are starting to develop due to a bias judicial system. The most popular lyrics from the song are:

I like my baby heir, with baby hair and afros

I like my Negro nose with Jackson Five nostrils

In these two lines Beyonce is letting the world know that she embraces her blackness.

Photo Credit: Slate

Many people were curious to know why Beyonce named the album lemonade and she addresses this question in the album. In the short film a clip is shown of Beyoncé’s grandmother-in-law Hattie giving a speech at her 90^th birthday party. In the clip Hattie says: “I had my ups and downs, but I always find the inner strength to pull myself up. I was served lemons, but I made lemonade.”

Lemonade is a very uniquely creative album. Beyonce has been in the music industry for a long time and now she seems to be taking on more of a political/revolutionary approach to her music. Many people have argued that she is not doing enough to support change in the black community but I think she is making a change in her own way the best way she knows how. At 34 years old Beyonce is a musical mogul and she has definitely earned the title Queen B.

BARBERSHOP 3 Review

Author: Amy Nicole

It’s hard to believe that the first two Barbershop movies came out over 12 years ago! When I heard there would be another sequel added to the series I was definitely excited. I was curious to see how much the character’s lives had changed over the years.

Although Barbershop 3 focuses on the good times of catching up with old family and friends, it also addresses some serious issues such as the rampant gun violence in Chicago. In the film Calvin’s son Jalen is now a teenager and Calvin and his wife Jennifer struggle with protecting him from gang life. The barbershop also faces financial challenges and its location puts the business at risk for crime.

Over the years the barbershop and characters have gone through quite a bit of changes. The shop has now combined with a beauty salon owned by Angie(Regina Hall). This merger introduces fans to some new characters most notably Draya played by Nicki Minaj. It also ignites quite a few hilarious scenes in the movie as the men face off against the women.

Terri(Eve) is now married to Rashad(Common) who is also a new barber in the shop. She also has a baby and a stepson. Jimmy is now an established politician and JD (Anthony Anderson) owns a successful food truck business called Gansta Grubs which employs former gang members. Eddie’s character for the most part remains the same. His blunt, sarcastic and unpredictable humor will definitely keep you laughing throughout the movie. Most of the ladies will be disappointed that Michael Ealy will not be reprising his role as pretty boy Ricky….. sigh…..

Overall the movie was pretty good. I don’t think it was as good as the first two but most sequels rarely top the original. The film ignites conversations about topics such as the black lives matter movement and double standards among men and women. What I loved most about the film was the positive relationship portrayed between Calvin and his son Jalen. There is a stereotype that black men are not good fathers so it was nice to see a contradiction to that stigma in the film.

Photo Credit: Slash Film

You Don’t Know My Name

Author: Ashley E

I was feeling a little nostalgic the other day so I started listening to music and watching some of my favorite videos from a few years ago. Alicia Keys “You Don’t Know My Name” was one of the videos that came across my playlist. Now that I’m older I can appreciate the story-line in the video more than when I watched it for the first time. I can also appreciate how fine Mos Def was! LOL Not sure why I didn’t notice it back then, maybe my taste in men has changed.

I know I’m not the only girl that could quote verbatim the words of Alicia Key’s telephone conversation when she finally decided to let her crush (Mos Def) know she had been peeping him for a while and was ready to let him know she was interested.

“ Hello….. can I speak to…to Michael?”

“Oh hey how you doing?”

“I feel kinda silly doing this but uh… this is the waitress from the coffee house on 39^th and Lenox…you know the one with the braids?”

“yea…”.

“Well I see you on Wednesdays all the time. You come in every Wednesday on your lunch break I think…and you always order the special with the hot chocolate.”

“My manager be tripping and stuff talking about we gotta use water.. but I always use some milk and cream for you because I think you’re kinda sweet…”

While I was reminiscing watching the video it made me think about how almost extinct phone conversations have become. I can barely remember what it feels like to get excited when someone you’re feeling hits you up and ya’ll talk for hours. We are definitely living in the social media era so instead of communicating verbally most of us communicate through texting, Facebook, Instagram, twitter, Snapchat and the list goes on.

I remember a couple of years ago how I would always talk on the phone; now the majority of my conversations are through text, group me, or some other social media app. When someone does call me to talk it feels almost weird and sometimes I hit the decline button because I would rather text than to talk because it’s more convenient.

I think I realized the disconnect when one of my good guy friends called me out of the blue not too long ago and we talked for hours! I forgot how good it felt to have an actual conversation and really check in with someone to see how life is treating them. It definitely made me realize I have to do better with keeping in touch verbally. You can put off talking to someone for so long that one day you look up and realize years have passed by.

I think social media is amazing in a sense that we’re able to communicate and interact with so many different people simultaneously and because of its convenience, but at the same time I personally feel it has hurt communication in a way and has almost created an illusion that we’re building a connection but in reality we’re very detached and distant.

I’ve met people before who were totally different on social media than they were in person. Some were extremely outgoing online but in person the total opposite. I think social media gives some individuals a platform to become people they’re not or a way to live out their alter egos and fantasies.

A lot of times you find out that you really don’t know the person well at all. I meet a lot of guys who consider “text conversations” actual conversations. Texting and social media are cool but to me it’s so informal. It’s hard to really establish something authentic if that’s pretty much the only way you’re communicating.

I think it’s crazy that some people ask for my Instagram name before they ask for my actual name. Times have definitely changed but when it comes to dating relationships I still prefer those REAL conversations. I’m working on making a better effort to communicate more verbally with family and friends too. We’re all busy and social media makes it very convenient to stay in touch but I don’t want to lose that authentic connection.

So what do you guys think, has social media hurt the way we communicate?

Dessert and discussion

What do you get when you combine a room full of men and women with music, delicious desserts, alcohol, and engaging conversations about relationships, sex and dating? You get the event Dessert and Discussion curated by Alex Merritt. Dessert and Discussion is a relationship discussion tour that has been hitting different cities over the past several months. The purpose of the tour is to get men and women talking about relationships so they can learn different perspectives from the opposite sex.

I was invited to be a featured blogger for the tour stop in Charlotte and I definitely enjoyed myself! The event was held at Red@28^th Hookah Lounge. The guests were seated in a small, private area in the back of the lounge which made the setting more intimate. Before the discussion began guests were entertained by DJ Strategy and were treated to plenty of tasty desserts and drinks. The crowd was grown and sexy; I would estimate that most of the people in attendance were in their late 20s to early 40s which was a good age range to get various perspectives from both sexes.

The conversation began with everyone going around the room and introducing themselves. Alex requested that everyone create a hashtag that described their dating life which made the mood more relaxed and fun. My hashtag was #DatingAndHavingFun. The variation in hashtag names pretty much led into the relationship discussion because of course you would want to know why people selected certain names. Some of the hashtags varied from #SingleForLife to #AllTheGoodOnesAreGone. It was too funny.

Some of the topics that were discussed included: how do you know when a person wants to get exclusive, sex on the first date, and having multiple dating partners. Men and women passed the microphone back and forth giving their input on each topic. I get shy in big groups of people so I pretty much just observed and listened to the conversations. It was very interesting to hear how men and women perspectives differed on certain topics. The conversation went on for about an hour ½ and afterwards the DJ took over so that everyone could mingle.

image1 (1) — Me with fellow blogger Brittany with The Buzz With B.

After the event was over I caught up with Alex for a brief interview to get more details about how she came up with the idea for the tour.

dd5 — Me with the lovely host and event creator Alex Merritt.

Amy Nicole: So you’ve been doing Dessert and Discussion for about 7 years now. How did you come up with the idea for it?

Alex: Literally I wanted to get people over my house to discuss a DVD and I didn’t want to cook! I wanted to get men and women’s opinion about this DVD that I had watched and I wanted to know if men saw women the way that this video portrayed us.

Amy Nicole: What was the DVD about?

Alex: The DVD was called “Diary Of A Tired Black Man” which was about a black man’s struggle in the dating game. I had just moved to California and I expected it to be like a one hour thing but it ended up lasting to 1:00 in the morning. After it was over I would run into people in the street and they would ask me when the next one was.

Amy Nicole: How many cities have you toured so far?

Alex: We have been in Chicago, St. Louis, Minneapolis, we’re here in Charlotte now, and then we’re back to Sacramento where it all started. This has been going on for the past six months and in the fall when it’s time to relaunch again we plan to do another six months. Everybody needs this because most of us haven’t been taught how to do relationships. Most of our family examples weren’t even good models. This is a way to learn and get feedback.

Amy Nicole: Well I definitely learned a lot from the men tonight! How has the response been in other cities?

Alex: It has been great. Everyone is looking for a place to get their questions asked about love, sex and relationships.

Amy Nicole: So how can people get in contact with you for booking?

Alex: Dessertanddisccusion.com and alex@dessertanddiscussion.com

It was great meeting Alex; she was such a fun and vibrant host! I really enjoyed myself at Dessert and Discussion and I would definitely encourage anyone looking for relationship advice and a good time to check out the tour if it comes through your city!

PRETTY HURTS

Author: Amy Nicole

We have all heard the common phrases, “embrace your own beauty” or “love the skin you’re in,” but with mainstream society’s close minded standard of beauty you might find yourself second guessing your individual and unique beauty.

Social media went crazy last week when Lil Kim posted a selfie on Instagram with an obvious altered facial appearance and a lighter skin tone. Some of the comments from people were very harsh. She was accused of wanting to be white and many people expressed that they felt she looked better before her surgery.

In a 2000 interview with Newsweek Lil Kim admitted to having low-self esteem and had the following to say about her poor self-image:

“Guys always cheated on me with women who were European-looking. You know, the long-hair type. Really beautiful women that left me thinking, ‘How I can I compete with that?’ Being a regular black girl wasn’t good enough.”

I sympathize with Lil Kim because I thought she was an attractive woman before the surgery and I hate that she let other people’s opinion influence her. The whole “beauty is within” statement is hard to swallow when we live in a society that caters to physical appearance and youth. I feel like it’s especially harder in society for women. A lot of rappers contradict themselves when they refer to women as queens in some songs and in other songs will refer to them as basic if they don’t resemble picture perfect women like on television. It’s hard to feel beautiful when the definition of what constitutes beauty looks nothing like you.

No one knows this about me except for my twin sister but 4 years ago when I was on a trip in Dallas I got fillers under my eyes. If you’re not familiar with a filler, it is a liquid substance that is injected into the skin with a needle to help add volume to a specific area of your body. Most people who get fillers are women who are 40 plus but I was in my 20s! Crazy right?! Well the reason I got them in the first place is because I have small natural bags under my eyes. The crazy thing is that my bags are really only noticeable to me. I didn’t really have a problem with the way that I looked but I guess I was looking to have this flawless appearance like the women I saw daily on television.

Well to make a long story short my experience was horrible. My face reacted badly to the fillers and it swelled up. The area under my eyes ended up turning white and I looked like a geisha doll literally! The scary thing about fillers is that it can sometimes take months or years for the substance to completely dissolve from your body. I was horrified because I thought my face would be frozen like that forever. Lucky for me I was working at a college at that time and the school was closed for a week for spring break. By the time the break was over my face was back to normal. After that experience I said I would never try any type of facial altering again. It’s just too risky because sometimes some changes can become permanent.

I think what a lot of people including myself struggle with the most is getting too stuck in the physical. Dwelling on physical appearance is very materialistic especially since your looks can easily change. You could get in a bad accident which could permanently alter your appearance; not to mention as we get older what we look like is going to change so we shouldn’t base our self-worth solely on our appearance. In essence we are all spiritual beings so we should start to look more at internal beauty as opposed to external.

Photo Credit: The Blacker The Berry

L Sherie

Author: Ashley E.

Mississippi native L Sherie Dean stumbled upon her passion as a joke. Known among her family and friends as the “go to girl” for information about people and events in her city, she decided to turn her love for media promotion into a business. Shortly after “The L Sherie Alert” was born. I caught up with Sherie for a brief interview to learn more about her business and the face behind the brand.

Ashley E: For those who aren’t familiar, how would you describe The LSherie Alert?

LS: The LSherie Alert (TLSA) is a positive media site built on true networking and support for businesses and individuals. TLSA includes celebrity exclusives, features with every day people making powerful positive impacts on their communities, music spotlights by independent artists and a network of businesses and individuals sharing their passions.

Ashley E: What do you think distinguishes the LSherie Alert from other blogs?

LS: I believe that constantly shining light on the good will overshadow the bad. People are tired of negativity. They want something good to pull from and that’s what TheLSherieAlert.com offers. The LSherie Alert is also a place to learn about people all over the country making things happen right in their communities. It’s a melting pot of inspiration, motivation, entrepreneurial platforms, music and community.

Ashley E: I read that you started your site as a joke. How does it feel to turn nothing into something?

LS: Yes! You know how sometimes you kinda put your foot in your mouth? Well, that’s exactly what happened. I never thought one minute that playing around on Facebook would open Pandora’s Box.

It’s a great feeling to be able to turn nothing into something, but if you think about it… it was never “nothing.” We are all equipped with so much talent, gifts and just destined to do great things. Sometimes the problem is being able to channel it. Other times we’re too busy following what society deems as being successful instead of looking within to create our own success that we miss the opportunity. And that’s one thing that I am so grateful I did not do. I saw an opportunity. I brought in my talents and just went for it.

Ashley E: At the end of I believe 2014 I read an article that you wrote on your site about being unemployed for 9 months. It was very inspiring and relatable. I don’t know if you remember but I actually wrote you on Facebook to let you know how your story touched me because at the time I was dealing with a situation very similar and it gave me some hope and motivation to keep pushing. You actually responded back with a voice message on Facebook and I appreciated you for taking the time to do that. Do you feel like obstacles and challenges are sometimes necessary to get us to a certain point?

LS: YES!!! I remember. Now see you almost made me cry. You have no idea how your message and the messages from many others gave me so much joy. It was hard to share that truth. To put my vulnerable moments out for the world to see. Definitely scary, but I knew deep down that my courage to do so, would inspire and possibly motivate someone else…even if that meant just one person.

That was a very stressful time in my life. I remember thinking back to my college days at Jackson State and how I was told that I would do great things. I won awards. I was president of an organization. I was so involved and connected to the community, and yet here I am unemployed and freaking out.

It was hard and literally brought me to my knees. People say being prideful is a bad thing, but honestly I think it helped me a bit. It forced me to create more and demand more of myself to make my business work. I mean really… how was I going to talk about being positive and making things happen if I was starting to feel like none of that stuff applied to me? I would be a hypocrite and that kind of damage would push me into depression.

From that one, small dramatic time in my life, I understood that God had to take me out of something to build me up for something much greater. So I definitely agree that challenges are put in front of us to prepare us. How else will we know we can handle what’s to come?

Ashley E: What advice do you have for anyone that is interested in your type of work in terms of how to get started and how can they become successful at it?

LS: Success does not happen overnight. It takes a strong will to push your limits. Study from those who are great and continue studying. Keep up with the ever-growing industry. Find a mentor… and I don’t mean just anybody posting random information on a blog site. Learn what attracts people and what keeps them coming back. Most importantly, stay true to YOU.

Ashley E: How far do you want to take The LSherie Alert (expansion wise)?

LS: I expect to take The LSherie Alert as far as God will allow. He gave me the vision to build it and like all businesses there comes a time for transition. I have big dreams to launch a business and community stipend program.

Check out more about Sherie and The LSherie Alert here.

It’s Okay To Be Selfish

Author: Amy Nicole

I’ve been told by my family that I can be selfish at times. I admit sometimes I look out for my own interest before I consider those of others but that is something I’m definitely trying to improve on.

But I wonder is being selfish always a bad thing? I believe when it comes down to your mental well-being, happiness, and health that it’s perfectly okay to be selfish. I used to be this person who cared so much about what other people thought about me and I would work so hard to please everyone. It got to the point where I was putting my own happiness to the backburner. As you get older you realize that pleasing everyone is impossible.

A few months ago I was having a family crisis which was also during a time when I was unemployed and living back at home with my parents. I had been traveling to Atlanta and Charlotte, North Carolina 2 to 3 times a month interviewing for jobs and getting rejection emails back to back. During that time I was very depressed and was in a bad mental state. My mom thought it would be for the best interest of the family if we all postponed our plans whether it be moving to a new state or seeking job opportunities until the situation was under control. My older brother who was finishing his medical residency in another state also considered pulling out of school temporarily to move back home. I love my family but I didn’t agree with my mom’s suggestion because none of us knew when the crisis would be resolved or if it ever would be. I didn’t feel like me being at home would have any significant impact on what was going on.

My mom is very selfless but she also neglects her own well being a lot of times. She always expresses to my siblings and I how she wished she would have had the opportunity to move to California with the rest of her sisters when she was younger. Instead of moving to California she stayed in Mississippi to help take care of my sick grandmother. As time passed on by she ended up getting married and having kids and her dreams of moving away never came into fruition.

The older that I get I realize how precious time is. As humans we don’t have forever and I don’t want to end up being one of those people who look by at their life when they are an elder and regret all the things that never got a chance to do.

After almost two years of interviewing for jobs I was finally offered a job in Charlotte, North Carolina. I accepted the job offer even though my family’s crisis still isn’t completely resolved. I had been depressed and unhappy for a long time and I needed this move to get me back in a better mental state. It’s been almost a month since I’ve moved and I’m in such a better place in life. My family is doing much better now but most importantly I’m happy and my happiness is the utmost importance to me at this stage in my life.

Photo Cred: SHARENATOR

BAD RELIGION

Author: Amy Nicole

Have you ever questioned your religion or faith? There are so many religions in the world so how do you know for sure your religion is true. Is religion a form of false hope or control? Does it do more harm than good? Today many people under the age of 40 are separating from traditional religion and are leaning more towards spirituality for guidance in life. This is happening on a mass level now which some people are referring to as a “global awakening.” I reached out to adults under the age of 40 to get their input on the topic of religion and included their feedback in this post.

As a child I grew up in a Christian household. I was taught to read the bible, say my prayers, go to church, and live by the teachings of Christ so that I can inherit the kingdom of heaven after I die. Now that I’m getting older I’m starting to question certain aspects of my beliefs. I think about how so many people have such a hard life compared to others yet we all face the same fate of either going to heaven or hell after we die based on the type of life that we lived while on earth. This concept to me just doesn’t seem fair or make sense. I often wonder that if heaven and hell are the only two alternatives after death why were so many planets created that we will never have access to.

“I use to be religious, going through the ritual/tradition of things, but I consider myself consciously awakened so I’m more spiritual now not adhering to any one particular religion. I feel the things most people were taught growing up when their grown they question what they were taught and begin a spiritual quest for true knowledge and enlightenment.” ~~GB~~

“I don’t really believe that what we do on earth affects what happens after. I know for a fact that what we do here affects what happens here. I believe in the consequences of free will, and I don’t believe much in things being meant to be. Just not sure if I believe there’s some cosmic being up in the clouds making a naughty and nice list like Santa Clause anymore. Or that God created the devil, knows exactly what the devils going to do and could stop him at anytime but doesn’t.” ~~D.L.~~

I haven’t been to church in a while because to be honest I have become very churched out. I can’t relate anymore to someone telling me that I’m sinning because I get depressed or that I’m doomed to the pits of hell because it’s hard for me to forgive someone who has hurt me badly. I don’t like the fact that religion is used as a fear tactic and that our behaviors are controlled by fear. I want to be a good person just because that’s who I am and I don’t want to feel forced to behave a certain way when that’s really not who I am. A lot of times I think religion takes advantage of oppressed people. It bothers me when I go to church and preachers convict the poor to give all of their money in tithes when they are struggling to keep their lights on. A lot of preachers promise their congregation prosperity when in fact in the bible Jesus strayed away from the wealthy.

“I started questioning my beliefs back in 2009 when I was in college. I had a scientologist roommate and I started asking her about her beliefs which made me start doing more research. I grew up in a Christian household and when I started questioning my beliefs my parents would always tell me to pray about it. I just knew there had to be more out there. Some people get so stuck in the physical and you can’t elevate if you’re stuck in the physical. I think religion externalizes the God in you; you get so caught up in what you’re not supposed to do. I believe hell can be here on earth, it is a state of mind. After we die we elevate to another place in the universe, a spiritual realm.” ~~Inlightedsol~~

In my opinion religion today is starting to become nothing more than a label. Most of us pick and choose sins that we feel are acceptable and we condemn people who partake in sinful activity that we choose not to take part in. I’m not claiming to be a saint because I’m far from it but I do consider myself to be a genuine person and the life that I claim to live is the life that I truly attempt to live by every day.

I’ve been getting more in tune with my spirituality over the last year and my mindset about life has drastically changed. I believe that religion externalizes God when in actuality the spirit of God is internal. I’ve started meditating at least 1-2 times a day and reading more books on spiritual growth. Life can get so overwhelming and meditating helps me to block out the physical world and focus more on my spiritual self. In essence we are all spirits anyway so why neglect the biggest part of who we are.

There is no doubt in my mind that there is a God. I know God is real when I look up in the sky and see the clouds and stars, and when I look at the beauty of nature. I believe that there are different paths to finding God and we have to find the route that works best for us.

“I believe with the proper understanding and application to our lives spirituality is a good thing! Religion as an institution is the evil that takes from humanity as opposed to serving our needs and interests. All religions come from the same people or “race”, our issue is to take them back, put them in proper context and use them to our benefit and not control or manipulate.” ~~EW~~

Photo Credit: MadameNoire

IN MY MIND

Author: Amy Nicole

I’m going to admit that I have really been sleeping on BJ The Chicago Kid! When he released the single Church a while back I thought it was a cool club song but other than that I didn’t know much about the artist. I recently listened to his album In My Mind and I completely fell in love with his music. I usually don’t listen to albums the whole way through but I enjoyed every song. Looking at BJ’s appearance you would think he was a rapper but when he opens his mouth you can’t help but to take notice of his vocals. His voice is very soulful. If you mix the sounds of Usher, Luke James, and D’Angelo blended with a little gospel you get BJ The Chicago Kid.

After researching BJ, I learned he has been in the music industry for a while but mostly behind the scenes. He started off singing backup for Mary Mary and has written for other gospel artists which would explain his soulful sound. He has also worked with other artists like Kanye West, School Boy Q, and Big Krit. In My Mind is BJ’s second studio album but it’s his first album release from Motown Records. Each song on the album tells a unique and different story.

When I initially heard the first released single from his album Church, I thought it was making a mockery of the church but after listening to an interview from BJ he explained that the song was about conflict between the flesh versus being righteous. The song is definitely a clever way of describing temptation from a man’s point of view. In the hook BJ sings:

She say she wanna drink, do drugs and have sex tonight
But I got church in the mornin’, church in the mornin’

I had a lot of favorite songs on the album but my top five would have to be Heart Crush, Falling On My Face, Woman’s World, Wait To The Morning, and Love Inside.

In the song Heart Crush BJ sings about falling out of love and the pain of letting go.

And that fire we had girl just couldn’t survive the rain
Heard the weather man telling us that it was gonna shower some pain

One of the most beautiful songs off of the album in my opinion is Falling On My Face. In the song BJ sings about the imperfections of a man and how as humans we all make mistakes and fall short of where we want to be in life. In one verse of the song he sings:

Cuz I can’t erase all my mistakes
I’m just a man who falls on his face
Servants and kings have all felt this way
By now I should be sick of falling on my face

In Woman’s World which is actually a remixed rendition of James Browns’ It’s A Man’s World, BJ soulfully pays homage to the woman.

Let’s talk about the power
The power of a woman
Tell me who can give life to a baby boy and turn him in to a man

Wait To The Morning is reminiscent of Usher’s 2004 single “Confessions”. In the song BJ pleads with his wife’s friend who has caught him cheating to wait until the morning to tell her about his infidelity.

Could we just hold this off and wait till the morning
I know I did her wrong
But you tryna cut us off
Can we just hold this off
And wait till the morning

I think my favorite song off the entire album is Love Inside. It is a sexy love song in which BJ sings about making love to not just a woman’s body but to her soul, to the point where she can literally feel the love inside of her. (Or maybe I’m over-analyzing the lyrics and he’s just seductively saying he wants to smash LOL!)

I want you to feel the love I have inside me
Inside you tonight
I want you to feel the love I have inside me
Inside you tonight

Although In My Mind is primarily R&B, BJ also mixes elements of hip hop with songs like “Man Down” and “The Resume” which features Big Krit.

I absolutely loved this album and BJ The Chicago Kid has now become one of my new favorite R&B artist! If you’re a real R&B lover In My Mind definitely needs to be in your music collection!

Is There A Shortage Of Good Black Men?

Author: Ashley E.

It’s a never ending conversation when it comes to a woman not being able to find a good man; more specifically a black woman trying to find a good black man. Based on the statistics that are constantly being forced down our throats, most black men are incarcerated, homosexual, not interested in black women, or just not worth dating. Not to mention the single fact alone that women outnumber men. From talking to several single black women it seems that when you wean out the men that don’t fall into those above categories, most of the good ones are already taken and the ones remaining worth dating are slim to none.

Tv shows like Being Mary Jane display women so desperate to find a man that they settle for being side chicks and even going so far as to steal sperm to get pregnant. Yasmin Eleby, a woman from Houston, TX made headlines over a year ago when she decided to marry herself because she was still single at the age of 40. The struggle seems to be real out here for the single women, but is it really a struggle or are good black men being overlooked daily due to women having unrealistic standards and expectations? I didn’t want to be bias so I got the opinions of a few black women and men to help me address this continuous topic.

The Male Perspective

How do you feel about black women saying there is a shortage of quality black men?

“I definitely understand the struggle of my sisters & their perspective of there being a shortage of quality black men. However, there are many black women who are quick to put a quality black man in the “friend’s zone” and pursue the one (or ones) who won’t give them with the love, respect & loyalty they deserve. I’ve been “friend zoned” a couple of times.” ~JI

“I don’t like hearing that, but it’s hard for me to take it personal (or even seriously) because I think if you ask 10 different women what a quality black man is, you’ll get 10 different answers. I assume this is in relation to the disproportionate rate that black women graduate from college over their male counterparts, and to that respect I guess it’s true. You can’t really argue with the numbers. But I don’t think you can dismiss a black man as “not quality” or whatever if he didn’t go to college, just like a degree doesn’t automatically make you a good catch. You want to be real about it, sometimes all a degree means is a whole lot of debt for both our quality black asses. And that’s not attractive to nobody.” ~JD

The Female Perspective

Do you feel that there is a shortage of quality black men?

“Sadly, yes there is a shortage of quality black men. Before I got married, yes I felt there was a shortage. Shortly before I met my husband, I had just accepted the fact that I was going to be single for a while. I even prepared myself mentally with the idea that I just might be single forever and never get married.” ~AW

“I don’t think there is a shortage and don’t believe in that. I met several good marriage material guys but wasted time on relationships I knew weren’t going anywhere but cut the good ones off over petty stuff. When I met my husband he was 28 working on his bachelors. He worked security at a club. My black friends were like don’t date him you are better than that and my white friends were like girl please he’s a great guy. Now he works as a financial analyst making more than some of my black friend’s husbands.” ~DG

It’s difficult to answer the question is there a shortage of good black men because it depends on what the woman defines as “good” or “quality”. It’s possible that great black men are being overlooked every day because of unrealistic standards and expectations held by black women. The phrase don’t be a nickel looking for a dime goes a long way so ask yourself are you a reflection of what you’re looking for? With all men regardless of race there are some decent ones and there are some horrible ones, but if you keep attracting the wrong ones you might need to do a self-evaluation. I do feel that for some black women there is a loyalty to hold down the black man and because of that we have tunnel vision for ONLY black men which prevents us from being open to relationships with men of other races. Maybe one of the problems is that women don’t put themselves out there enough to meet a good black man. A man is not going to come wrapped in a pretty bow waiting for us to unwrap him so taking a little initiative by just smiling or saying hello could make a huge difference. From my personal experience I’ve met some great black men and some terrible ones but I will never let the negative experiences make me put all black men in the same box. I am a product of being raised by a good black man. I love black men and I want them to win especially now more than ever with them having it so hard in society.

Photo Cred: ThyBlackMan.Com