If you’re a single female I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “Let The Man Do The Chasing!” For many years I believed this to be true and thought that it was the man’s responsibility to pursue a woman, now my view point on approaching men has changed for many reasons.
One reason in particular is that women out number men, which means that men have plenty more options when it comes to choosing a partner. Ladies you could possibly be a great catch, you can have a great job, good credit, be very attractive and educated but for each one of you there are 20 more women just like you for each single man.
I was having a discussion about dating with my sister and we were talking about how most women usually don’t approach guys unless they initiate conversation with us first. My motto used to be that if a guy was really interested in me that he would make the first move. If you’re a woman that agrees with this statement have you ever thought that maybe a guy didn’t approach you because he was shy or fearful of rejection? Just like us women don’t want to face rejection men certainly don’t either.
I’ve actually initated dates with guys before and I have had pretty good experiences. Most of the guys were glad that I approached them and were enthused that I showed initiative. Surprisingly when I asked them if they would have approached me first some of them said no because they figured I was already taken or wouldn’t be interested.
In today’s society the rules of dating are changing and I don’t think there is anything wrong with women going after what they want. I commend women who want to wait on what they consider to be the “right guy” but from my own personal experience you could definitely be missing out on meeting a really great guy just because you are unwilling to take a chance.
Rising artist Kelvin Armstrong is a singer/songwriter and guitarist from the small town of Irmo, South Carolina. Armstrong is really starting to make a name for himself in Columbia, South Carolina and surrounding areas; he released his EP “In Due Time” last month and recently charted #67 out of the top 100 on Itunes. We were able to catch up with him for a brief interview before he geared up for his album release party on August 23rd.
TDS: Was singing something that you always wanted to pursue growing up and how long have u been singing professionally?
KA: Being a singer was never in the picture for me growing up. I did sing in the church choir, that’s because my mom made me. I’ve been singing professionally roughly 2 1/2 years.
TDS: Who are your biggest music influences?
KA: My grandfather HT Armstrong R.I.P, my father Kent Armstrong and my sister Kyshona Armstrong . I’ve always had music around me.
TDS: While listening to your EP “In Due Time” we heard different genres of music such as soul, blues, a little country and acoustic R&B. Describe your sound of music and how does your music differ from other artists?
KA: It’s just as you described it. I can only explain it as a melting pot. I’ve always listened to all genres of music: gospel, alternative, R&B, country and also jazz. I guess that’s why when I write, it’s never coming from one style. Honestly I can only speak on myself and where my music is pulled from. I write from a place of truth and real life. When you listen to my music understand that you’re hearing my feelings and experiences.
TDS: We enjoyed listening to the EP and felt like every song told a different story. There was one song in particular called Falling that we really liked but had different interpretations of the meaning. I believed that the song spoke on finding who you are as a person where as Ashley believed the song was about the ups and downs of life. Can you tell us about the meaning behind this song?
KA: I’m glad you enjoyed it! You’re both right. That song was written in a time where my life was completely out of whack. I was in a deep depression and was really trying to fight my way out of it. Me writing the song was my therapy. I pray that the song does for someone else what it did for me. It gave me a release from all the pressure and weight I felt was on me.
TDS: Another song that resonated with us was Stones Throw as it spoke on struggles in life. What was the inspiration behind this song?
KA:Stones Throw came from the a question I asked myself: “With all the craziness in the world, senseless killings, unexplained deaths and the everyday struggle people may have with drug addiction ,when they pass on do those loved ones left behind understand that through it all, the good and the bad…. God was with them?
TDS: How far do you want to take your career?
KA: I’m setting absolutely no limits on how far my music career can go. Four years ago being a singer/songwriter was not even a thought. I feel like my purpose is to work as hard as possible to be heard. I hope my music can help someone, even heal someone’s pain or struggle they may be experiencing. It worked for me I know it can help others.
TDS: Do you have any upcoming projects and where can people buy your music and get in contact with you?
KA: I do. I’m having my album release show on August 23rd at Wet Willies in Columbia SC. I can’t wait, it’s really going to be fun. Hope to see some faces I haven’t seen in a long time. You can buy my music on ITunes, google play and spotify. You can contact me via IG & Twitter @kelvin6string and you can visit my websites http://www.kelvinarmstrongmusic.com/http://www.facebook.com/kelvinarmstrongmusic
Last weekend we attended the Blaktastik Film Festival which was held in Columbia, South Carolina. The festival was a three day event which incorporated film, art, education and music. As the name Blaktastik implies the festival primarily focused on contemporary and alternative black culture. My sister and I were able to sit down with the festival director Sherard Duvall to get more insight on the festival. We also briefly interviewed multidisciplinary artist Michaela Pilar Brown and recording artist/producer Fat Rat da Czar about their roles facilitating the event. Continue reading “BLAKTASTIK”
Is there such a thing as a perfect guy? Is there a shortage of good black men? Do black women have unrealistic standards and expectations when it comes to dating and marriage? Director Tamarat Makonnen attempts to answer these questions in his latest documentary “In Search of the Black Knight”. The documentary humorously addresses relationship topics that many young, professional African American women face today regarding black men. The film follows Makonnen as he travels to several states interviewing women and men who gave their opinion on the topic of there being a shortage of eligible black men.
It’s a never ending conversation when it comes to a woman not being able to find a good man; more specifically a black woman trying to find a good black man. Based on the statistics that are constantly being forced down our throats, most black men are incarcerated, homosexual, not interested in black women, or just not worth dating. Not to mention the single fact alone that women outnumber men. From talking to several single black women it seems that when you wean out the men that don’t fall into those above categories, most of the good ones are already taken and the ones remaining worth dating are slim to none. Continue reading “Is There A Shortage of Good Black Men?”
Last year after Mike Brown was killed by a white police officer, I remember watching the riots on television and thinking once again “us” black people are making ourselves look ignorant. I just didn’t understand how rioting was going to solve the problem. I’m usually hesitant about posting my thoughts on Facebook but I decided to vent my frustrations on the issue that day. A few people agreed with my sentiments but one person in particular responded to my status by saying I was being ignorant for ignoring a hurting people. I was annoyed by her comment but I shrugged it off and thought to myself to each his own. Continue reading “INSTITUTIONALIZED”
“Instinct leads me to another flow Everytime I hear a brother call a girl a bitch or a hoe Trying to make a sister feel low You know all of that gots to go”
These are lyrics from Queen Latifah’s 1994 single “U.N.I.T.Y” which spoke out against the disrespect of women in society. Back in the early 90’s and prior decades calling a woman a bitch was an ultimate form of disrespect. Today, for some people the word bitch has turned into a term of empowerment more so among African American women. Continue reading “BAD BITCH”
When you combine an afternoon of natural hair and fashion, you get an amazingly well put together event called Coils and Couture. My sister and I had the pleasure of attending the event last weekend which was held at Unwine Paint and Sip Art Studio in Columbia, SC. The walls in the venue were adorned with colorful and vibrant artwork making it the perfect setting to host such a fab event. Guests were treated to a wine and dessert bar and given the opportunity to mingle and shop at various vendors in attendance. Some special guests even received a “swag bag” filled with goodies from the hosts. The afternoon was filled with giveaways, shopping, food, hair styling demos, a mini fashion show and a dj in the mix. The atmosphere created a nice vibe. Continue reading “Coils and Couture”
Photo Credit:: Raw Demand Productions photographed by Maurice George Columbia South Carolina Photographer.
Author: Amy Nicole
Needless to say the natural hair movement is showing no signs of slowing down as women of color all over the globe are embracing their natural hair textures. Many naturals can attest that going natural can be an intimidating process so it is always nice to have a support system to get you through the journey. My sister and I are newly natural and we couldn’t agree more!
We were excited to find out about the Miss Naturally Crowned Carolina pageant which is held in Columbia, South Carolina. The pageant was founded by Jessica Boyd and Maureen Ochola who are the owners of Quench Natural Beauty Boutique based out of Columbia. This year marked the second year for the pageant and we were excited to be in attendance for the big event.The pageant was open to women statewide ages 19-30 who wore their naturally textured hair, and as part of the pageant guidelines contestants were required to submit a business pitch with a completed business plan. The winner of the pageant was awarded $1,000 in startup funding as well as marketing and branding services.
We caught up with last year’s winner Chanelle Johnson for a brief interview as she prepared to say farewell to the crown.
Chanelle Johnson
Last year you won the title of Miss Naturally Crowned. Describe that experience.
Preparing for the pageant really forces you to take a closer look at your strengths and weaknesses. I used it as an opportunity to refine my weaknesses, and to grow. Lolita Frazier, our pageant coach, was a huge component of helping each of us grow in the way that we desired to. One of my greatest take always from this experience has been understanding that your confidence is everything! Even if you are afraid, keep going. Never let fear immobilize you. Everything that you need is already inside of you, and my personal philosophy throughout life and the pageant comes from 2 Timothy 1:7 which states, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” Whenever I got nervous or thought that I was not good enough, I reminded myself of this scripture and that I am validated through Christ. I’m definitely not saying that I wake up feeling like superwoman everyday, but knowing what I have inside is enough to remind me to lift my head, fluff my fro, and adjust my crown. It still amazes me that because I decided to embrace my natural hair texture almost 6 years ago, I have been able to encourage women and girls to love themselves the way that they were made, simply by being me, the title was the icing on the cake to help me do so.
What made you want to be a part of the pageant and why did you decide to go natural?
I’ve always loved pageants! I used to watch them with my grandma when I was little girl. I loved the glamour, the poise, confidence, and grace of the women. I always thought that someday I would compete, but my family was not the “toddlers in tiaras” type, and honestly, we couldn’t afford the fees and expenses that come along with pageant competition. Therefore, I waited until I was in high school to enter my first pageant! I competed all 4 years, and actually earned the title of Miss Sophomore! I competed in 2 pageants during college; I had relaxed hair in both of these. Shortly after I transitioned back to my natural hair. I never thought that I could compete again. Most pageant contestants are notorious for having long, flowing, tresses, and I did not feel comfortable getting extensions just to compete.
I was intrigued from the moment found out about the pageant through the fabulous marketing campaign of @QuenchSC on Instagram and I was immediately hooked! Their values were so in line with my own that I was motivated, inspired, AND challenged! The manner in which the innovative and creative co founders Jessica and Maureen carried themselves and their brand, was just the fresh breath of “get up and get started” that I needed! This was before I had ever shaken either of their hands, and even after meeting them I have been continuously inspired! A pageant for women with natural hair AND a chance to earn some funds for my dream job?! Sign me up NOW! Entering the pageant was not a question!
As a winner of the pageant you were awarded start-up funding for your business. What type of business did you start and why did you choose that particular business?
The guidance and encouragement I received during the time that we prepared for the pageant was really what helped me to start my business. The start-up funding was the icing on the cake! Whenever I have been asked what is my ultimate dream job, I’ve always hesitantly said to become a photographer and to eventually travel the world capturing all things beautiful. However, this never occurred to me as something feasible. Photography has been a love of mine for as long as I can remember, but I boxed it into a pretty little “dream job box” and tied a bow. However, God is an amazing orchestrator! I found out about the pageant around the same time that I had decided to purchase my first professional camera and had begun learning the art photography. However, I still could not see it, my own a photography company?! The pageant required a business plan which my bestie, Candance played a huge role in helping me to design. This was the beginning of untying the bow and removing photography from the box. Although, I still have much to accomplish I am the proud creator of C. Heart Photography, LLC.
It was really nice meeting Chanelle as well as the founders of the pageant and we would like to wish this year’s winner Tra’Shon Howard much success during her reign as Miss Naturally Crowned Carolina. We think the pageant is an amazing idea as it promotes young women embracing their natural beauty and we are looking forward to seeing the continued growth of this event.
I absolutely looooved this mural when I saw it so I had to take a quick pic because I’m a sucker for dope and creative art. The mural is called Tunnel-vision and it was painted by an artist named Blue Sky in the 1970s. You can find the artwork on the wall of the Federal Land Bank Building in Columbia, SC. A guy snapped this picture of me at the end of last year and I didn’t realize how symbolic it was until after he took the shot and I looked at it on my phone. I was planning on taking the picture facing the front but he took the pic while I was running towards the mural which turned out to be a great shot.
I posted the picture on my Instagram and I captioned it “Walking towards my destiny.” The picture perfectly captured the stage of my life that I’m in. At the end of last year I made the decision to step outside of my comfort zone so I moved to a new unfamiliar state without a plan or clear direction for the next step in my life. For the most part I’ve played it safe with the decisions that I have made over the years so this was a huge step for me to take. I can’t lie and say this path has been easy because it hasn’t. I’ve been nervous, anxious, angry, sad and I’ve second guessed my decision so many times. Taking this journey has caused me to be hit with a lot of highs and lows but along the way I feel like the pieces to the puzzle are starting to come together and I’m discovering my lane.
