How Many Dating Partners Should A Person Have?

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We have all heard the saying “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” and I believe this same phrase should be applied to the number of dating partners that a person should have. Now before you give me the “side eye” I’m not saying that you should have sex with everyone that you date but I do think that it is okay to casually date several people at one time.

I will use a personal experience as an example. A few years ago when I was in school I was casually dating a guy and I started developing strong feelings for him. He was the only guy that I was dating at the time but he on the other hand was dating other women. He ended up pursuing a relationship with one of the other females that he was dating which led to me getting hurt. Now I couldn’t be upset with him because I knew he was dating other people. My mistake was not clearly relaying to him my feelings and what my future relationship goals were.

When I asked other men and women about this topic it seemed as though the views from both sexes slightly differed. Most men who said they were seriously pursuing a woman said they usually tried to date one woman at a time because dating tended to get pretty expensive. As a female I never looked at dating from a man’s point of view. Most men pay for the expenses as far as going to a movie and out to dinner so I could see how that would add up for a man dating more than one woman.  To solve that problem people who are dating could opt for free events like day festivals or even try  going to a park to just talk. Women on the other hand seemed to be more open to dating more than one person as long as sex wasn’t involved for each partner that they dated.

I think as far as dating goes as long as the walls of communication are open between both people and everyone is honest and upfront about their intentions, dating multiple people is perfectly fine.

 

Photo Credit: Busted Halo

This article is also featured on Confessions of an Ambitious Girl.

 

The Perfect Guy Was Far From A Perfect Movie

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Author: The Double Scoop

I know we’re really late with this review but we finally got around to seeing The Perfect Guy last weekend.  The movie definitely didn’t live up to the hype portrayed in the film’s trailers. We set our expectations too high and were highly disappointed.

When the movie trailer for “The Perfect Guy” dropped four months ago we like most other women were raging with anticipation to see the forthcoming thriller which would star two of Hollywood’s most handsome black, leading men and the beautiful Sanaa Lathan.  Blinded by the sexiness of Michael Ealy and Morris Chestnut most of us overlooked the predictability in the trailer which showed the typical fatal attraction scenario.

Usually the first ten minutes of a film sets the tone of whether you will love or hate a movie so 10 minutes into watching The Perfect Guy we became a little worried that the film might fall into our dislike category.

The elevator background music along with the cringe worthy, corny dialogue made us feel as though we were watching a Lifetime movie. In one particular scene Lathan’s character (Leah) was being harassed at a bar by a guy who approached her with the line, “give me 3 good reasons why I shouldn’t buy you a drink.” Who says that? Definitely not a realistic or charming pick up line!

The main focus of the movie was on Ealy’s character(Carter), who is supposedly the ideal perfect man.  Although very attractive, Ealy’s character didn’t deliver much charisma. We actually found his character to be boring, a little creepy and robotic. We also felt that there wasn’t authentic chemistry between Leah and Carter to make them fall so hard for each other the way that they did. The rushed romance wasn’t believable. Although not very personable, Ealy’s character did however have the role of deranged stalker down packed with his piercing eyes, and emotionless murders.

We felt the way the police handled Leah’s initial stalker complaint was also unrealistic (or it could be us not being familiar with police protocols); the cops basically told her they couldn’t help her unless she was in the act of being killed!

Though most of the film was predictable the death of Leah’s boyfriend Dave definitely caught us off guard. We were hoping that Leah would at least be left with some type of happiness.  After all her neighbor was murdered and a sex video of her was emailed to hundreds of people associated with the company she worked for causing her to get suspended from her job.

The best part of the movie was the eye candy, other than that The Perfect Guy was definitely not the perfect movie.

A Second Serving of Soul Food Is On The Way

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Your favorite sisters Bird, Teri, and Max are reuniting on the big screen after almost 20 years.  Fox 2000 production company is working on a sequel to the 1997 classic film “Soul Food.” The original cast members are said to be returning as well as the original director, George Tillman Jr. and producers Babyface Edmonds and Tracey Edmonds.

The new film titled “More Soul Food” will focus on the millennial generation of the Joseph Family. With younger generations being consumed with social media, the movie will highlight how the effects of technology have weakened family relationships and traditions in the once very close knit family.

It’s hard to top a classic film but hopefully this movie will be just as good or even better than the first. I’m excited to see how the movie will unfold!

Do you all plan on watching?

Source: The Hollywood Reporter & Essence

FERGUSON COVER-UP: A DOCUMENTARY

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It has been over a year since the shooting death of Michael Brown by police office Darren Wilson and as of today there still haven’t been any charges brought against him.  Many people have become desensitized to this repetitive cycle by our judicial system and have accepted the fact that nothing can be done about it.

Director Jason Pollock refuses to let the voice of Michael Brown grow silent. Last week he announced that he would be directing a film about Brown’s case which will help clear up misunderstandings surrounding the case and that will reveal the truth about his death.

Pollock had the following to say about the upcoming film:

“My new film is going to take a deep dive into how an unarmed boy in sandals and shorts with his hands up, according to killer himself, could be executed in the street without any repercussions. This event has haunted me, as I know it has haunted many others. I needed to find out the truth! So I set out on a yearlong investigation of the facts, and what I have found needs to be seen and heard by the world.”

The film is said to reveal how key evidence was withheld and leaked, will expose corrupt witnesses and will highlight the racist history of the city of Ferguson. Pollock has set up an Indiegogo crowd-funding campaign to help raise money for the film and has also created a trailer to help support the film.

You can watch the trailer and donate here.

 

Ni’cola Mitchell

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As any aspiring writer will tell you, trying to make a full time career out of writing seems almost next to impossible. My sister and I left our unfulfilling  careers over a year ago to pursue our love for writing and we have definitely encountered many obstacles on our path to success. We came across the profile of Ni’cola Mitchell, a published author of several best-selling novels, a blogger, and founder of the independent publishing company NCM Publishing.  Much of her work revolves around complex relationship issues and Mitchell’s compulsive desire to see women overcome challenges.

I was able to get a brief interview with Ni’cola as she prepares to promote her latest novel “Pum Pum”. In our interview she discusses her love for writing, shares how she overcame obstacles, and gives advice to aspiring writers.

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Check out our interview below:

Amy Nicole:  Did you always have a passion for writing and how long have you been writing professionally?

 Ni’cola: Why Yes!!! I have always had a passion for writing! Ever since I was little girl, I would write poems, stories, and my thoughts down on paper.  I never knew though that I would be able to make a living off of writing growing up. It was not until I was preparing for graduation for my Bachelor’s degree, that I was dared to write my first novel and the rest was history.

Amy Nicole: The focus of most of your books is about relationships; why do you choose to focus on this particular topic?

 Ni’cola: I write about relationships because it is about everyday life.  Everyone can relate to the good and bad of relationships, and I use how I feel and people around me and create masterpieces.

Amy Nicole: What obstacles did you face as an aspiring writer and how did you overcome these obstacles?  Would you say your race/sex played a factor in any of these obstacles?

 Ni’cola: The obstacles that I faced when I started off was trying to get my books into new stores and getting the word out about me and my book. I mimicked how major publishers were doing their campaigns and recreated the same thing just with my twist. Race was not really a factor, but sex has been. When you are a woman and have a pretty face, it is a challenge for people to take you seriously in a man dominated field. You have to stand your ground and make it clear that you deserve to be here.

 Amy Nicole: My sister and I both quit our jobs over a year ago to pursue a writing career and we have definitely faced many challenges. What advice would you give women trying to pursue a writing career but facing obstacles along the road to success?

Ni’cola: The advice that I would give you both is to not give up. As long as you give the same tenacity to your craft as you would for a “day job,” you will have tremendous results. Also remember an average overnight success is 10 years. Some have been blessed to become rich overnight but the money comes with your hard work.

Amy Nicole: You have several published novels, what would you say is your favorite novel and why?

Ni’cola: “Pum Pum” as of date is currently my favorite because it has so many different social issues inside of it.

Amy Nicole: You are currently promoting your new book called “Pum Pum”. Can you tell us what this book is about and about the title choice?

 Ni’cola: My new book “Pum Pum” is a story about a girl that was framed for a drug charge and was deported back to Jamaica.  She meets someone that teaches her to become self-sufficient on the island and to become a dancehall queen. I chose the title because it is a world play of many situations that a lot of women face when their back is against the wall. You know the phrase, “you have to use what you got to get what you want”? Well, in “Pum Pum”, instead of selling her body to survive, she is dancing.

Amy Nicole: Where can readers purchase your books?

 Ni’cola: Readers can purchase my books on Amazon.com, Barnes and Nobles, and Books a Million. You can also find me on Google Play, Nook, and I-Books.

 At a time when it seems that the doors for African American female authors seems slim, Ni’cola Mitchell is proof that with hard work and consistency female writers can have a successful career. It was great getting to know more about Ni’cola and we look forward to reading her novels. To find out more about Ni’cola you can visit her website at http://www.nicolacmitchell.com/.

 

 

Nat Turner Is Coming

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Actor Nate Parker recently posted a picture on Instagram of him and veteran filmmaker Spike Lee with the caption: “Big Bro Spike Lee stopped in on the edit to give wisdom and show love.” #birthofanationmovie #natturner

Parker is busy working on his directorial debut film “The Birth of a Nation.” Aside from directing, he will also star in the film as Nat Turner. The film will focus on the 1831 slave rebellion that was led by Turner. It is said to be one of the most successful revolts in American history resulting in the deaths of between 55 to 65 whites in Virginia.

Parker has expressed that playing Nat Turner has been a dream of his although Turner was considered a “bad guy” in history.  The actor had this to say:

“A lot of people thought he was a bad guy, but it’s [about one’s] perspective.”  “I don’t think he was a bad guy at all, but we all have our ideas of what we want and why we want it, and what we’ll do to achieve those things.”

Nate Parker is one of my favorite actors. I have yet to see a movie that he has starred in that I was disappointed by, and with Spike Lee backing the film I think it will definitely be worth watching!

Do you guys plan on watching?

 

Source: Urban Intellectuals

 

The Matrimony

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I think growing up most girls fantasize about their perfect wedding day. I can remember being in elementary school and discussing with my friends what color my bridesmaids dresses were going to be and how I would wear my hair on my special day. Now that I’m at the age where most of my peers are starting to get married or are already married I question if marriage is something that I really even want or am capable of.

Divorce rates seem to be on the rise and the idea of living happily ever after seems to just be an unrealistic fantasy. Now I do know some couples who are making marriage work and who seem to be happily married but there are many others who just couldn’t make their relationships last. When I talk to people who are married most of them say “make sure you’re ready!” or “please don’t rush!”  Many married couples that I’ve encountered talk about how much work it is going to be. The hard work part scares me because usually when I have dated guys in the past I will cut them off with a quickness if they did something that I didn’t like or if they started to annoy me.  Even my mom who has been married to my dad for over 30 years has told me that she and my dad aren’t in love anymore and that the best part of the marriage was raising me and my siblings. That type of relationship doesn’t appeal to me. I know marriage is going to have its ups and downs but if I’m going to be committed to someone for the rest of my life then I want to be happy at the least. I think another myth about marriage is that marriage equates to happiness. I’ve met some people who have said that their life was much better before starting a family.

What most people don’t realize about marriage is that it’s supposed to be a lifetime commitment.  I come from a get rich quick generation where most people my age don’t want to put in the time and effort to make relationships last.  Is it realistic to believe that you can stay committed to just one person for your entire life? I personally like to be to myself a lot of times so the thought of another person invading my personal space every second of the day gives me anxiety.

I guess the biggest question regarding marriage is, what is your reason for wanting to get married? I grew up in a Christian household so I was taught that marriage was the right thing to do for adults who wanted to start a family. Now that I’m questioning if I even want to get married let alone have kids what is my alternative? Being alone forever?  LOL maybe I can have  an Oprah and Stedman type of relationship and have a long term partnership; you’re there for me when I need you but at the end of the day we can go our separate ways without the contract agreement. But even that type of relationship after a while would get old. Who really wants to be in their senior years still playing the dating field.

So will I get married? Only time will tell, but I’m definitely not one of those women who make marriage and kids their top priority.  I think if a person decides that they want to get married they need to make sure they can truly commit to someone during the good times and the bad. On the other hand I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people who decide not to get married. Marriage isn’t for everyone and it’s probably one of the hardest jobs that most people will ever have in their lives. It should be a personal preference whether or not you want to take on that type of commitment.

Photo Credit: Black Enterprise

This article was also featured on Confessions of an Ambitious Girl Blog.

 

 

Actress Sanaa Lathan Drops New Track Emotional

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Gorgeous actress Sanaa Lathan is mostly known for her movie roles on the big screen but this past weekend she shocked all of her fans when she dropped a music track called “Emotional”.  The song was inspired by her latest film “The Perfect Guy” which was released this weekend. The actress stated that her love interest in the movie, played by actor Michael Ealy was a very emotional character . The track was produced by Detail, who has also produced music for Beyonce, and it also features rapper Dej Loaf.  In my opinion the single sounds pretty good! Check out the track here.

Photo Credit: EurWeb

Straight Outta Compton Touches On Issues Still Relevant Today

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With Straight Outta Compton bringing in over 60.2 million dollars at the box office in its opening weekend, there is no denying that it will go down as one of the top movies of the summer for 2015. The movie chronicles the lives of rap group NWA, known as one of the most controversial rap groups of all time.

Although the movie focuses on the group’s controversial music, it also touches on the issue of police brutality which is very prominent in society today.  Several black men have died at the hands of white police officers this past year along with many of the officers being acquitted of the crimes. The movie briefly touches on the 1991 beaten of Rodney King. King was beaten by four white police officers who were all acquitted of charges.  The film reveals just how much times have not changed because even today black men feel their life isn’t valued by society and they have to constantly deal with being stereotyped and seen as a threat just based off of their appearance.

 The film does a good job of explaining why the group chose to rap about certain topics that many would consider controversial.  In one part of the film Ice Cube(who is portrayed by his son O’shea Jackson Jr.) justifies the groups music when he tells a reporter that the group raps about the reality that they see, which for many young black men back in the late 80s and early 90s was drugs, violence, and racism. The casting for the film was great as many of the actors embodied the essence of the characters that they portrayed.

 Although most NWA fans are now in their 40s and 50s, people of all ages can appreciate the film.  The biopic combines comedy, drama and music and gives viewers an in-depth look into the men behind one of the world’s most dynamic hip hop groups.

 

Photo Credit: Universal Pictures

In Due Time

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Rising South Carolina artist Kelvin Armstrong released his EP In Due Time last month. After listening to the album it’s hard to believe that the talented singer who is also a songwriter and guitarist has only been singing professionally 2 years.  The album is a perfect blend of acoustic, R&B, soul, blues and a tad of country.  If we had to describe Armstrong’s voice it would be a combination of Anthony Hamilton, John Mayer, Lyfe Jennings and D’angelo. The title of the EP speaks for itself in that the album was released during a time when music seems to lack substance.  In Due Time delivers the type of feel good music that is missing from the music industry today.  While most artists seem to be going main-stream, Armstrong decided to take listeners on an alternate route. Each song on the EP tells its own unique story. You can tell each song poured from his soul and you can feel his raw emotion in each lyric. It is definitely an album you can listen to the entire way through.

The EP opens with Peaches & Cream.The song is far from what you might imagine when you first hear the title. It’s a song about life and the difficulties you might face on this journey that we all must take. It also speaks about fighting for what you believe in.

Falling was one of the most touching and personal songs on the album. Kelvin expressed that the song was about a dark place in his life where he found himself battling with depression. People underestimate the severity of depression and the toll it can take on a person’s life. Kelvin was able to get through those difficult times and transfer his pain into music.

Cold Woman is a song about playing the fool in a relationship. It’s something that happens to the best of us. When opening your heart to someone you’re taking a gamble and sometimes you get burned.

Many people have a belief in God and have faith that no matter what obstacles they encounter in life they feel like God is there guiding them through the ups and downs. The song Stones Throw questions God’s presence during the difficult times in life.

The album concludes with Selfish, a song that speaks on being deeply in love. Many of us find ourselves in relationships that are destructive but the love for that person is so strong that we hold on even though it’s not a healthy relationship.  A line from the song states: “I don’t want to be by myself even though loving you is bad for my health.”

 

We had the pleasure of attending Kelvin’s album release party for “In Due Time” this past Sunday at Wet Willie’s in Columbia, South Carolina. The event was held on the second floor of the venue and there wasn’t an empty seat in the room. Kelvin took to the stage with his guitar in the dimly lit room filled with his friends, family, fans, and music lovers anxiously waiting to hear the vocals of the rising star. Kelvin shared the stage with a few special guests which included his sister Kyshona Armstrong, another talented musician. He put on quite a show singing songs from his EP as well as a few extra songs in the mix. Listening to him live made you appreciate his music even more. His future is definitely bright and we wish him much success.

 

 The Double Scoop with Kelvin Armstrong @ his EP release partyIMG_0147

Check out footage from the show below. You can also view it on Double Scoop TV.