Amy Nicole – Page 4 – The Double Scoop

PRETTY HURTS

Author: Amy Nicole

We have all heard the common phrases, “embrace your own beauty” or “love the skin you’re in,” but with mainstream society’s close minded standard of beauty you might find yourself second guessing your individual and unique beauty.

Social media went crazy last week when Lil Kim posted a selfie on Instagram with an obvious altered facial appearance and a lighter skin tone. Some of the comments from people were very harsh. She was accused of wanting to be white and many people expressed that they felt she looked better before her surgery.

In a 2000 interview with Newsweek Lil Kim admitted to having low-self esteem and had the following to say about her poor self-image:

“Guys always cheated on me with women who were European-looking. You know, the long-hair type. Really beautiful women that left me thinking, ‘How I can I compete with that?’ Being a regular black girl wasn’t good enough.”

I sympathize with Lil Kim because I thought she was an attractive woman before the surgery and I hate that she let other people’s opinion influence her. The whole “beauty is within” statement is hard to swallow when we live in a society that caters to physical appearance and youth. I feel like it’s especially harder in society for women. A lot of rappers contradict themselves when they refer to women as queens in some songs and in other songs will refer to them as basic if they don’t resemble picture perfect women like on television. It’s hard to feel beautiful when the definition of what constitutes beauty looks nothing like you.

No one knows this about me except for my twin sister but 4 years ago when I was on a trip in Dallas I got fillers under my eyes. If you’re not familiar with a filler, it is a liquid substance that is injected into the skin with a needle to help add volume to a specific area of your body. Most people who get fillers are women who are 40 plus but I was in my 20s! Crazy right?! Well the reason I got them in the first place is because I have small natural bags under my eyes. The crazy thing is that my bags are really only noticeable to me. I didn’t really have a problem with the way that I looked but I guess I was looking to have this flawless appearance like the women I saw daily on television.

Well to make a long story short my experience was horrible. My face reacted badly to the fillers and it swelled up. The area under my eyes ended up turning white and I looked like a geisha doll literally! The scary thing about fillers is that it can sometimes take months or years for the substance to completely dissolve from your body. I was horrified because I thought my face would be frozen like that forever. Lucky for me I was working at a college at that time and the school was closed for a week for spring break. By the time the break was over my face was back to normal. After that experience I said I would never try any type of facial altering again. It’s just too risky because sometimes some changes can become permanent.

I think what a lot of people including myself struggle with the most is getting too stuck in the physical. Dwelling on physical appearance is very materialistic especially since your looks can easily change. You could get in a bad accident which could permanently alter your appearance; not to mention as we get older what we look like is going to change so we shouldn’t base our self-worth solely on our appearance. In essence we are all spiritual beings so we should start to look more at internal beauty as opposed to external.

Photo Credit: The Blacker The Berry

BAD RELIGION

Author: Amy Nicole

Have you ever questioned your religion or faith? There are so many religions in the world so how do you know for sure your religion is true. Is religion a form of false hope or control? Does it do more harm than good? Today many people under the age of 40 are separating from traditional religion and are leaning more towards spirituality for guidance in life. This is happening on a mass level now which some people are referring to as a “global awakening.” I reached out to adults under the age of 40 to get their input on the topic of religion and included their feedback in this post.

As a child I grew up in a Christian household. I was taught to read the bible, say my prayers, go to church, and live by the teachings of Christ so that I can inherit the kingdom of heaven after I die. Now that I’m getting older I’m starting to question certain aspects of my beliefs. I think about how so many people have such a hard life compared to others yet we all face the same fate of either going to heaven or hell after we die based on the type of life that we lived while on earth. This concept to me just doesn’t seem fair or make sense. I often wonder that if heaven and hell are the only two alternatives after death why were so many planets created that we will never have access to.

“I use to be religious, going through the ritual/tradition of things, but I consider myself consciously awakened so I’m more spiritual now not adhering to any one particular religion. I feel the things most people were taught growing up when their grown they question what they were taught and begin a spiritual quest for true knowledge and enlightenment.” ~~GB~~

“I don’t really believe that what we do on earth affects what happens after. I know for a fact that what we do here affects what happens here. I believe in the consequences of free will, and I don’t believe much in things being meant to be. Just not sure if I believe there’s some cosmic being up in the clouds making a naughty and nice list like Santa Clause anymore. Or that God created the devil, knows exactly what the devils going to do and could stop him at anytime but doesn’t.” ~~D.L.~~

I haven’t been to church in a while because to be honest I have become very churched out. I can’t relate anymore to someone telling me that I’m sinning because I get depressed or that I’m doomed to the pits of hell because it’s hard for me to forgive someone who has hurt me badly. I don’t like the fact that religion is used as a fear tactic and that our behaviors are controlled by fear. I want to be a good person just because that’s who I am and I don’t want to feel forced to behave a certain way when that’s really not who I am. A lot of times I think religion takes advantage of oppressed people. It bothers me when I go to church and preachers convict the poor to give all of their money in tithes when they are struggling to keep their lights on. A lot of preachers promise their congregation prosperity when in fact in the bible Jesus strayed away from the wealthy.

“I started questioning my beliefs back in 2009 when I was in college. I had a scientologist roommate and I started asking her about her beliefs which made me start doing more research. I grew up in a Christian household and when I started questioning my beliefs my parents would always tell me to pray about it. I just knew there had to be more out there. Some people get so stuck in the physical and you can’t elevate if you’re stuck in the physical. I think religion externalizes the God in you; you get so caught up in what you’re not supposed to do. I believe hell can be here on earth, it is a state of mind. After we die we elevate to another place in the universe, a spiritual realm.” ~~Inlightedsol~~

In my opinion religion today is starting to become nothing more than a label. Most of us pick and choose sins that we feel are acceptable and we condemn people who partake in sinful activity that we choose not to take part in. I’m not claiming to be a saint because I’m far from it but I do consider myself to be a genuine person and the life that I claim to live is the life that I truly attempt to live by every day.

I’ve been getting more in tune with my spirituality over the last year and my mindset about life has drastically changed. I believe that religion externalizes God when in actuality the spirit of God is internal. I’ve started meditating at least 1-2 times a day and reading more books on spiritual growth. Life can get so overwhelming and meditating helps me to block out the physical world and focus more on my spiritual self. In essence we are all spirits anyway so why neglect the biggest part of who we are.

There is no doubt in my mind that there is a God. I know God is real when I look up in the sky and see the clouds and stars, and when I look at the beauty of nature. I believe that there are different paths to finding God and we have to find the route that works best for us.

“I believe with the proper understanding and application to our lives spirituality is a good thing! Religion as an institution is the evil that takes from humanity as opposed to serving our needs and interests. All religions come from the same people or “race”, our issue is to take them back, put them in proper context and use them to our benefit and not control or manipulate.” ~~EW~~

Photo Credit: MadameNoire

IN MY MIND

Author: Amy Nicole

I’m going to admit that I have really been sleeping on BJ The Chicago Kid! When he released the single Church a while back I thought it was a cool club song but other than that I didn’t know much about the artist. I recently listened to his album In My Mind and I completely fell in love with his music. I usually don’t listen to albums the whole way through but I enjoyed every song. Looking at BJ’s appearance you would think he was a rapper but when he opens his mouth you can’t help but to take notice of his vocals. His voice is very soulful. If you mix the sounds of Usher, Luke James, and D’Angelo blended with a little gospel you get BJ The Chicago Kid.

After researching BJ, I learned he has been in the music industry for a while but mostly behind the scenes. He started off singing backup for Mary Mary and has written for other gospel artists which would explain his soulful sound. He has also worked with other artists like Kanye West, School Boy Q, and Big Krit. In My Mind is BJ’s second studio album but it’s his first album release from Motown Records. Each song on the album tells a unique and different story.

When I initially heard the first released single from his album Church, I thought it was making a mockery of the church but after listening to an interview from BJ he explained that the song was about conflict between the flesh versus being righteous. The song is definitely a clever way of describing temptation from a man’s point of view. In the hook BJ sings:

She say she wanna drink, do drugs and have sex tonight
But I got church in the mornin’, church in the mornin’

I had a lot of favorite songs on the album but my top five would have to be Heart Crush, Falling On My Face, Woman’s World, Wait To The Morning, and Love Inside.

In the song Heart Crush BJ sings about falling out of love and the pain of letting go.

And that fire we had girl just couldn’t survive the rain
Heard the weather man telling us that it was gonna shower some pain

One of the most beautiful songs off of the album in my opinion is Falling On My Face. In the song BJ sings about the imperfections of a man and how as humans we all make mistakes and fall short of where we want to be in life. In one verse of the song he sings:

Cuz I can’t erase all my mistakes
I’m just a man who falls on his face
Servants and kings have all felt this way
By now I should be sick of falling on my face

In Woman’s World which is actually a remixed rendition of James Browns’ It’s A Man’s World, BJ soulfully pays homage to the woman.

Let’s talk about the power
The power of a woman
Tell me who can give life to a baby boy and turn him in to a man

Wait To The Morning is reminiscent of Usher’s 2004 single “Confessions”. In the song BJ pleads with his wife’s friend who has caught him cheating to wait until the morning to tell her about his infidelity.

Could we just hold this off and wait till the morning
I know I did her wrong
But you tryna cut us off
Can we just hold this off
And wait till the morning

I think my favorite song off the entire album is Love Inside. It is a sexy love song in which BJ sings about making love to not just a woman’s body but to her soul, to the point where she can literally feel the love inside of her. (Or maybe I’m over-analyzing the lyrics and he’s just seductively saying he wants to smash LOL!)

I want you to feel the love I have inside me
Inside you tonight
I want you to feel the love I have inside me
Inside you tonight

Although In My Mind is primarily R&B, BJ also mixes elements of hip hop with songs like “Man Down” and “The Resume” which features Big Krit.

I absolutely loved this album and BJ The Chicago Kid has now become one of my new favorite R&B artist! If you’re a real R&B lover In My Mind definitely needs to be in your music collection!

Nick Grant 88

Authors: The Double Scoop

If you’re a fan of rap especially old school hip hop, than you’ve probably noticed the sound and feel of that genre of music has changed over the years. With the exception of a few rappers like J Cole, Kendrick Lamar, and Big Krit just to name a few, most rappers today don’t have much lyrical substance. Most of us like to listen to ratchet music every once in a while but it’s also nice to hear songs that can stimulate the mind.

At the end of last year we got a chance to catch Big Krit’s final show off of his Kritically Acclaimed tour in Atlanta. Neither of us are big fans of local opening acts but one young mc stood out at the show. He was a South Carolina artist by the name of Nick Grant and as soon as he got on stage he looked into the crowd and told us that his job was to make us remember his name, and that he did.

After the show we had to know more about Nick so we researched him and discovered he had been making music for a minute. We were just blown away by his lyricism. He released his mixtape 88 at the beginning of last month and the buzz since its release still hasn’t let up. He named the album after the year he was born (1988) and because that year was considered the “golden era” of hip hop.

His sound is reminiscent of the late 90s and early 2000s but at the same time still current. Although he is from the south his sound is very northern. He reminds you of rappers like Nas, Common and Jadakiss. There were a lot of dope songs on the mixtape; some of our faves were Black Sinatra, Gold Chains, Contradiction, Royalty, and The Jungle.

Black Sinatra has a Jay Z/The Blue Print feel to it and is loaded with metaphoric lyricism over a smooth beat.

Gold Chains speaks on how people have become mentally enslaved to material things.

“Niggas dying for Gold Chains
Niggas dying for Gold Chains
Nigga we mentally enslaved
Buy Gold Chains do anything to drive a Range nigga

Contradiction was another one of our favorites. It’s the love song that talks about what many women are afraid to hear; the guy who loves you but just can’t commit.

She said love don’t cost a thing
Won’t expose her heart to pain
I said love done came and went
It packed up and caught the train

And of course as avid Big Krit fans we were definitely loving the Royalty remix which also featured Killer Mike. Grant is definitely not afraid to speak out on relevant issues that are taking place in society but like he said in Window Seat, another song off of the mixtape, “don’t call him gangster or conscious, he’s just being real and honest.”

88 will definitely appease the appetites of hungry hip hop fans.

No Kid Zone

Author: Amy Nicole

Believe it or not marriage and kids are not top priorities for most millennial women these days. A few months ago I read an article on XoNecole which featured an interview from Shonda Rhimes and Oprah Winfrey about the topic of getting married and having children. At 61, Oprah has no children and has never been married, but she does have a very successful career and has been in a relationship with her long term partner for over 30 years. At 46, Shonda Rhimes is a very successful television writer with 3 daughters. Two of her daughters are adopted and one is by a surrogate. She is adamant that she has absolutely no desire to get married. The purpose of the article was to highlight how women are going against societies guidelines and are creating their own standards for having a happy and successful life. Reading this article put me at so much ease about my thoughts of not wanting to have children because I realized that I wasn’t alone.

My youngest sister just had a daughter 3 months ago and I love my little niece to death. Some times when I’m spending time with her I think to myself that motherhood may not be too bad but then reality sets in that a baby will eventually grow into a pre-teen and then into a rambunctious teenager! I have never really been maternal and sometimes I even get awkward around kids, especially around a group of them. A big part of me has this fear that I won’t be a good parent. Parents have such a big influence on their child’s life and I would hate to screw up my child’s head due to bad parenting.

When I tell my mom that I don’t think I want children she gives me this look of horror like I said I wanted to kill someone. I believe some women are born to be mothers and some women are not. I remember being at church one day and hearing a preacher say it was every woman’s responsibility to have children. While listening to the pastor’s words I thought to myself what if a person doesn’t have the desire for children? I mean just like some people don’t like vegetables some people don’t like kids.

There are a lot of women who are younger than me that already have more than one child. One of the most offensive questions that childless women get asked is, “When are you going to have kids?” What irks me the most is that most of the women who ask the question are the ones who have two or three kids by different men. I think the logic that you should have kids while you’re young rather than when you’re mentally and financially ready to have them is very ignorant. Having children is not something you should rush because they are a lifetime commitment. I know because my parents still have to help me out financially from time to time. You can’t just give them back when you get tired of them; children are a huge responsibility and they require you to make so many sacrifices. You sacrifice your time, energy, money, careers, and for most women your bodies! I’m not ready to sacrifice any of those things right now. Right now I’m single and it’s a struggle for me going to work all day, trying to come home and cook, and trying to fit in a workout. The thought of trying to fit kids into that equation just seems overwhelming.

When I was doing research for this topic I came across an article which listed a few reasons why women shouldn’t have children. Some of those reasons included the following:

You shouldn’t have children unless you can be sure you will love them no matter how they turn out, faults and all. This includes mental or physical disability, if they turn out to be a homicidal maniac or if they don’t do things you understand.

You shouldn’t have children unless you can truly afford them, and have a considerable amount of money stashed away to fund their existence until they are at least 18 years of age. If you want a child so much then you should make it your goal to be able to afford the things they require.

You should not have child for your own gain. Whether it be to keep your marriage together, to have someone to love you, or to have someone to care for you when you are old.

I agree with all of these reasons on why people shouldn’t have children. Growing up I had this idea of what my adult life should look like. Go to college, start a career, get married, and have children. Now that I’m at the point where I need to start thinking about having kids and I don’t think I won’t any, I feel like I’m doing something wrong. Society tells women that they are selfish or less of a woman if they don’t have children when in fact they are neither. The choice not to have kids is a right that every woman should have and they shouldn’t be scrutinized for their decision. I’m not completely crossing kids off of my to do list because things could change in the future, but if I decide not to have kids I don’t think I will look back later in life and have any regrets.

Photo Credit: The Grio

Not Settling Or Being Too Picky?

Author: Amy Nicole

I’ve been told two scenarios when it comes to being in a relationship and getting married. One scenario is that dating and marriage aren’t about love but about what you can deal with in another person. The other is that marriage is too hard to just settle because you have to really love someone to be able to put up with his/her flaws.

I haven’t been in a relationship in a while but I do date, and I’ve been told by some people that the reason I’m still single is probably because I’m too picky. Don’t get me wrong I do want a nice guy but if I’m going to commit to a person I want it to be with someone who I really like and who excites me.

I wanted to get other people’s opinions on what they thought the difference between being too picky and settling was so I asked a few people on social media. Here are a few responses that I received:

Being picky is focusing on physical things like height, weight, appearance, good teeth, etc and also on what monetary things the person possesses like cars, money, house, etc. Some of the things are ok, like if you have a thing for teeth then by all means find a man with straight teeth, but if all your qualifications are about the physical appearance or monetary possessions then you are being too picky.

People settle for a number of reasons: they don’t want to be alone, would rather have a piece of a man than none at all, don’t want to start over, comfort, sex, being afraid they won’t find better, etc.

Misplaced priorities…..They find things they feel are important & put up with the rest.

“Settling” enables the belief that one is “too good” for another when it’s really just about preferences & matching them.

Most people agreed that being “too picky” is when you focus more on physical and materialistic qualities like looks and money and “not settling” is when you refuse to commit to someone whose lifestyle or personality doesn’t benefit your own in a positive way.

Some may ask what’s wrong with wanting the type of person that you want to be with even if the qualities are very shallow. I can’t argue with that, but like I’ve always been told you need to be the type of person that you are looking for. If you want someone who is sexy, rich, and has a nice body then you need to make sure that you have those same characteristics. Like the saying goes “don’t be a penny looking for a dime”! One important fact that most people should realize is that you are never going to find someone who is perfect. Maybe I’m being naïve to believe that true love still exists, but when it comes to me committing the rest of my life with someone you better believe that I’m going to make sure that I am capable of loving that person unconditionally and for him to be able to do the same for me.

Photo Credit: The Libertarian Republic

Nina Simone Movie Trailer Sparks Outrage

Author: Amy Nicole

The first trailer for the Nina Simone movie that premiered last week has the internet going crazy but not in a good way. The movie titled “Nina” stars actress Zoe Saldana as Nina Simone. The film will cover the life of the singer and civil rights activist and it will chronicle her career demise and return to music.

When it was first announced that Saldana would be portraying Nina Simone, producers were met with a lot of criticism particularly from black viewers who believed that an actress who better resembled Simone should have been cast for the role. Nina Simone had a very dark complexion and she was known for her strong ethnic features. I think the biggest issue with Saldana being cast for the role is that she does not identify as African American but as a Black Latino.

Watching the trailer you can visibly see Saldana’s heavy dark make-up and prosthetic nose. Many have compared Saldana’s appearance in the movie to a caricature. Singer India Arie is one of the many people who have spoken out against the film. She had the following to say about the casting choice:

“I think the best way to say it is that they casted her against type and went too far to make her fit,” she explained. “It’s not my place to say how Zoe Saldana perceives herself, and I can’t say how anybody else perceives her either.”

Nina Simone’s daughter, Simone Kelly says that she isn’t upset with Zoe Saldana but is upset with the director Cynthia Mort for telling an inaccurate story of her mother. Kelly stated that the family wasn’t consulted for the film.

Honestly because of my age I wasn’t too familiar with the life of Nina Simone. I knew she was a singer but I didn’t realize how significant her legacy was until I recently watched the documentary “What Happened Miss Simone” . I’m interested in watching the movie and I’m also a fan of Zoe Saldana so I will definitely be checking the film out.

“Nina” is scheduled to be released on April 22, 2016.

Check out the trailer below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6yfxOCiHr4

Photo Credit: Atlanta Black Star

Untitled Unmastered

Author: Amy Nicole

Last week Kendrick Lamar dropped an unannounced album called “Untitled Unmastered”. The album features 8 untitled tracks showing the dates the songs were recorded. The tracks on the 35 minute album are all live recordings.

I recently had a chance to listen to the album and it sounds like an extension of Lamar’s last project “To Pimp A Butterfly”. Like most of Kendrick’s music you have to listen to the songs more than once to grasp the underlining message behind the lyrics. The album features Lamar rapping over up-tempo instrumentals with subtle elements of jazz. He covers topics like political corruption, religion, self-awareness, and spirituality, and he briefly touches on the black lives matter movement.

Overall Untitled Unmastered is consistent with Lamar’s metaphoric artistic sound and is definitely worth the listen.

Photo Credit: Rolling Stone

Issa Rae Premieres Narrative Podcast “Fruit”

Author: Amy Nicole

I’ve been a fan of Issa Rae since I watched her web series Awkward Black Girl a few years back and it’s amazing to see how much her career has grown in such a short period of time. Since the success of Awkward Black Girl she has gone on to produce and write several more web series’, has written a book, and has recently partnered with HBO to produce a comedy series.

Issa’s newest project is a narrative podcast called “Fruit”. The audio drama focuses on the life of a gay NFL player who tries to keep his sexual orientation private. During the podcast listeners will hear the story of a football player who is only indentified as X. Throughout each episode X will discuss his journey of self-discovery and sexual exploration. The show will also follow the relationships that X has with his family, friends, and teammates and will reveal how those relationships affect his self-identity.

I’ve recently started listening to the podcast and it is definitely an interesting show! Issa Rae’s approach to telling a story in the form of a podcast is very unique and creative! Fruit is available exclusively on the Howl premium service, available through a mobile app for iOS and Android and online at howl.fm. You can also listen to the show on Issa Rae’s YouTube Channel.

Photo Credit: Strong and Elite; Digital Trends

The Revolution Will Be Televised

Author: Amy Nicole

It has been a little over a week since Beyonce’ shut the Super Bowl down with her pro-black halftime performance. Many people (mostly white) thought her performance was offensive and some even called it racist which led to an attempted boycott of the singer’s newly announced Formation tour.

Before the hype of Beyonce’s performance could die down Kendrick Lamar set the media on fire once again with his performance at the 2016 Grammys. His performance was an artistic and powerful tribute to black men.

In the beginning of his performance he marched out on stage shackled in chains with other black men wearing prison uniforms. He approached the microphone and performed his single “Blacker The Berry”.

“You hate me don’t you?”

“You hate my people, your plan is to terminate my culture”.

It was obvious who Lamar was speaking to in his lyrics hence the awkward and uncomfortable expressions by the mostly white audience.

Lamar ended his performance with his single “We Gone Be Alright” accompanied by dancers dressed in traditional African attire sending the message that despite the hardships that black people have been through we will still persevere.

As a black woman I see nothing wrong with black people embracing our culture. For so many years we have been oppressed, de-humanized and belittled as a race. Black people are once getting starting to embrace who they are and I’m so glad to be alive during this revolutionary period in black culture.

Photo Credit: Matt Sayles/Invision/AP

Photo Credit: Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images for NARAS