His Past Ain’t Pretty



Author: Ashley E

When it comes to starting new romantic relationships, most of us have some baggage or skeletons in the closet from previous relationships that we are carrying with us into the new relationship. I mean at some point we’re all going to be someone’s leftovers unless you are one of the lucky ones who fall in love and stay with the first person you are seriously dating.  About 2 months ago I was watching an episode of Shonda Rhimes’ new hit show How to get away with Murder and it focused on an interesting topic. Law student, Michaela Pratt discovered that her fiancé Aiden had sex with one of her classmates when he was in high school. You might think, ok that was years ago and everyone has a past, BUT the tea is that her classmate is a man. That changes the situation completely. Michaela’s fiancé wasn’t planning on telling her about what happened, and she only found out because her classmate made a joke that he could have been the one getting married. Confused by his joke, she confronted Aiden and he embarrassingly admitted that it was something stupid that just happened in his past and that it didn’t mean anything to him.

My first thought was if you willingly slept with another man, you ARE gay! You can’t have sex with another man and say it was no big deal or that it was just a one time incident.  Even if it was just once, you still had sex with another MAN! Is it more excusable because it happened while he was in high school? Have times changed so much now that having casual sex with another man is normal to men who consider themselves straight? Apparently for some men that is the case; some men look at sex as just sex even if it is with another man. I think that makes it even more difficult for single women dating and for women already in relationships. When getting to know a man now, a woman has to ask, “Well, have you ever had sex with another man?” WOW!! The dating struggle is real out here. Michaela decided to stay with her fiancé after he assured her that he wasn’t gay and that it would never happen again.

My sister asked me if I would have stayed with the fiancé.  My first response was, “HELL NO,” but then I thought about it. I guess it’s one of those issues that you don’t know how you would handle until you’re faced with the situation. When you get engaged to someone, you have probably invested a lot of time into that person and you love the person, so can you really cut it off that easily? Do you just believe him when he tells you it was only a one time incident and that he is not gay? I would be so skeptical going into a marriage like that because in the back of my mind I will always wonder if he is really gay and if being with me is just a cover. Does he secretly desire to be with another man or maybe both women and men and is just too afraid to live that life publicly?


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